Harlie (my 17-year-old daughter for all you new readers) is going back to school this week, ready to get stuck into her A levels. Maths, further maths, chemistry and physics. Gives me chills just thinking about it!
In the last 18 months or so she has taken to her education with a new level of interest that had me in shock. Having spent most of her life riding horses and being obsessed with the thought of a future life in riding, she just woke up one morning, never sat on a horse again, and became the perfect student.
Right now she seems to know very clearly what she wants to do with her education and that she wants a future career in some kind of space engineering. And that’s great. I also know for many, if not most people reading this that they (or their kids) haven’t got the slightest idea what they want to do in later life. And that is fine too.
And I am sure there are a few 30-year-olds reading this too who also don’t know what they want to do if they ever grow up! And guess what, that’s all good too!
When I was a kid, other than a brief spell of wanting to be a famous magician, I always knew I wanted to be in business. But I didn’t particularly know what areas of business I wanted to work in. I just knew I wanted to be rich, and in the late 80’s / early 90’s it was very much the belief system that the only way to make big money was to own your own business.
“You will never get rich working for someone else.”
It was also an era where the lack of a university degree was likely to close off most quality career options for you.
My mum wanted me to go to university and be a lawyer or a doctor. And whilst she will probably not admit it, she was seriously disappointed in me for not going to uni (well I lasted 6 weeks) and running off to try and carve out a career as a businessman with no meaningful qualifications.
And as a parent, she wouldn’t have been alone because that was the ingrained thought process of the ’90s (and before).
Know what you want to do with your life by the time you are 14. Get your GCSE’s & A levels. Go to university. Get that job that you had planned on since 14. Get married. Have kids. Drum into them the same logic. Die after many miserable years with a partner you don’t even want to be with.
Break that mould and at best you were some kind of crazy hippie. At worst, you were guaranteeing a life of failure.
But the world has moved on
No longer is university a prerequisite for success in adulthood.
But there is still an expectation and pressure put on kids to know what they want to do with their lives from their mid-teens.
Rather than layering on pressure to map out a future career, I think it is much more important to teach a teenager to define success.
I have 1 very very simple measure of success. HAPPINESS. Are you happy? Because if you aren’t happy then all the education, money and status in the world still means you have failed.
It’s very important to understand that it is quite easy to be financially successful and unhappy at the same time. I can introduce you to dozens of rich people who are miserable!
To be able to know what you want to do and then make a success out of it you need to know 4 things:
- What you like
- What you don’t like
- What you are good at
- What you are bad at
Not only can you not possibly know those answers in depth at 14 / 15 / 18 years old. You are at such a young and formative age that the answers can materially change quickly too.
I know lots of people who wanted to be doctors and dentists from the age of about 13. They went through school wanting it. They went to medical school thinking they probably still wanted it. They then finished medical school and couldn’t think of anything worse than working in medicine and went off to find a whole new path!
Looking back over the past 25+ years, there are many things I have learnt that are much more important for people in their teens and 20s to understand than being forced to pick a path for the rest of their lives at a career fair.
I’ll be teaching Harlie & Nele:
Once You Get On The Treadmill It Is Very Hard To Ever Get Off
You leave school and go to university. You leave university and start a job. You start working your way up the corporate ladder. Next thing you know you are 50 years old and miserable in a job you hate! You didn’t go travelling around Asia and you can’t do it now because you have a boss and clients. Your wife won’t let you start that business that has been itching at you for years because that would mean leaving the security of your corporate paycheck.
As much as I am the guy who always talks about following your dreams at any age, the reality is the older you get and the more settled you become with family and commitments, the more difficult it is for most people to ever do it.
So don’t rush onto that treadmill, because once it has started it is unlikely to stop.
So Use Your 20s To Experiment
Travel. Take a job because it sounds fun. Start a business. Commit to your passions and hobbies. Live in another country. Whatever it is doesn’t matter – as long as it makes you happy, gives you experiences and helps you build relationships. There is plenty of time to be an adult later.
Take Risks
You only learn when things go wrong and you only get rewarded for taking risks. Now is the time for all of that. The downside of making wrong choices at this age is negligible. The upside could be your dream life.
Take the wrong job, you’ve lost a few months of your life – no biggie, and you have learnt something while doing it for sure.
Start a business and go bankrupt – who cares, you didn’t have any money anyway!
Try to make it as an actor or musician – after 10 years of trying you are still not even 30!
Make Yourself Useful
Whatever position you are in, go above and beyond to be helpful and useful. Be the one everyone remembers for going the extra mile. Be the one who stayed late and helped with a project that had nothing to do with your actual role. Join your colleague or friend or manager on a weekend to campaign for their favourite charity.
Don’t Be A Dick
Being likeable is so much more powerful than being qualified! The unemployment line is full of highly qualified dick heads. Friendly, happy, proactive people will always be wanted and have a life full of opportunities.
Learn What ‘Great’ Looks Like
There is so much talk about working for a great company, having a great boss, doing great things. But what does ‘great’ even mean and look like? In a world of quantity you must learn to sniff out quality. Most companies aren’t great. And most bosses certainly aren’t great. Learn how to identify the ones that are so you can pick your path and your mentors wisely.
Follow Great People
Now you know what great looks like, find those great people so you can join them, learn from them, and let them take you on their journey.
Former Google CEO & Chairman, Eric Schmidt, famously told Sheryl Sandberg, “If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on.” He said that careers take care of themselves at companies that are growing quickly. Sheryl must have listened to him as she joined Mark Zuckerberg’s ‘rocket ship’ in 2008 and ultimately became a billionaire.
There Are So Many Ways To Make Money
Don’t get talked into thinking that a certain path is the ‘only’ way to make money. In today’s world just about everything is monetizable. Hobbies, side hustles, passions, there is no reason to not be smiling ear to ear getting paid to do what you love.
The short summary of all of the above is…… Collect great people and collect great experiences. This will help you build great knowledge and great relationships. And with that, you will have the ability to answer the 4 questions to be able to make your life plan.
Enjoy your teens, and enjoy your 20s. Because in your 30’s your life is still just beginning. And if you follow my advice and thoughts you may just end up finding true success and loving the rest of your life too.
