Six Right Royal Insights from a Duchess
It had been a long time coming due to juggling her countless diary commitments, but recently I caught up with Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, for a chat. She’s a businesswoman, bestselling author, YouTuber, speaker, producer, wellness advocate, mother, grandmother, and Royal Duchess! A CV even more impressive than mine! And in between telling me about her latest book, her project to help children in warzones, her charity work and who she wants to play her in a movie, she gave me Six of the Best of Right Royal Insights from a Duchess.
1 Fit it all in!
Sarah has the same approach as I do – she does so many things because she wants to do it all. I often get asked about balance – you know – how do you balance business consultancy and corporate speaking as well as spending time with my family, hobbies, travel, sport? And my answer is always that I don’t think about it. I don’t think about balance, I just do it. If you want to do something enough, you just get on and do it. Ultimately, you’ll find a way to fit it all into the day. If you’re passionate enough about achieving the things, and you want to achieve, then you find a way to fit it all into the day and your life.
Sarah made the point that, however busy you are, it’s always good to make time to say thank you. She told me, ‘You know, the other day, someone came up and said, “Oh, you look just like Fergie!” And I said, “Well, guess what? I am Fergie!” They asked me for a selfie, and I said sure. They gave me a huge smile. And my friend who was walking with me, said, “I hope you took in that nice smile? Did you receive that smile from that person?” And I suddenly realized maybe I should stop and take a beat more often to receive – instead of always giving, giving, giving.
2 Show up with your heart
Passion is something that drives my business and personal life – whether I’m searching out investment opportunities, acting as an angel investor, mentoring or doing my podcasts, hitting the gym or just taking time out to enjoy life. You absolutely have to have passion about the things that you do, or you are just not living life to the full. Sarah agrees – she calls it ‘turning up with your heart’.
She said, ‘I always say to my girls, you’ve got to show up with your heart or don’t show up at all’. It’s really the passion for what you do that makes all the difference – and you can do anything if you have that passion.’
3 Hope is everything
Sarah was keen to tell me about her new project – Little Red. ‘Little Red is going to be the first giveaway doll that’s a symbol of hope. Little Red is, of course, my ambassador for building primary education globally. I work as a global ambassador for Montessori schools. Little Red arrives with displaced children all over the world, anywhere in the world. It could be that a child that is running from Ukraine or Yemen or Syria or Afghanistan or anywhere – I mean, there were 84.5 million displaced people last year! And for those children, where is their hope? Little Red’s been to Poland. She’s been to Ukraine. She is all about hope – and what are we without hope?’
4 Don’t wait – make your dream happen now!
It has been Sarah’s dream for 25 years to write a novel. She told me, ‘I put it off, thinking that I couldn’t write a novel. I’m useless. So, you know, I can’t do this, can’t do that. And then when I started doing it, I realized, ‘Oh, okay, I can do this!’. I just put myself right in the sights and smells of the east end of London in 1871. And once I started to escape into history and into writing, I realized that I was doing so much better because I had turned that doubting Thomas brain off, the self-sabotage. I had been telling myself ‘you’re this, you’re that’. But once I had thrown myself into what it really must have been like in Scotland and London and the slums and people coming back from the Crimea war – that’s when I discovered I could write this book. I mean, I’m pretty excited. Very excited!’
That is so true. Sometimes the only thing stopping you from doing something – achieving your dream – is that little voice telling you that you can’t do it. It doesn’t matter if you are a royal or not – it gets us all. And the only way to get it to shut up is to make a start, get involved and turn off that doubting voice. If you can fill your day with taking action and throwing yourself into what you are doing, get something started, maybe look for some business funding, and that voice gets drowned out. And that’s when you can make progress, enjoy the excitement, and drown out those voices completely.
5 Don’t speak – listen!
As someone who is always talking, sharing my experiences, advice and help, it’s easy to think that all I do is talk. But Sarah talks to an even more diverse audience than I do – people in real crisis, and in real times of need. How does she talk to people in this situation? As much as we talk about ups and downs, these people have got downs that would be unimaginable to 99% of the rest of the world.
Sarah is pretty clear, ‘Well, the first thing you do is you don’t talk, you don’t speak. You listen. It is imperative to take the time, turn the phone off and you just sit there. And, you know, you’re just putting your hand out with friendship.’
This is a fantastic piece of advice in life and business in general too. Although Sarah was giving advice in the context of showing compassion for other, I often give the same advice as a mentor or keynote speaker in a different context. I believe you can only be learning if you’re listening – learning from others, from your surroundings. So, if you want to improve, grow and learn more about a situation, then be silent and take it all in. Only talk when it matters. As the old saying goes ‘you have two ears and one mouth. Use them in the same proportion’!
6 Live your life the way you want to!
I asked Sarah, if you were to give one piece of advice to your grandchildren about, life, business, the future, what would that be? Sarah thought for a minute. ‘Oh, goodness, always allow a child to be who they are.
Right now my grandson August wants to play with trains and tractors. But if he wanted to play with Barbies, that’s okay, too. And my granddaughter Sienna at the moment wants to play with cuddly teddy bears and very pink things. But if she wants to go and play with trains and tractors, well, why not.
She’s right of course – you have to live your life how you want to, not how you think people expect you to. If something feels right, sometimes you just have to go with that feeling. It may not pay off, it may be a dead end or a wrong turn in hindsight. It’s something I often stress when doing mastermind coaching – you have to be true to yourself and not simply follow the herd. Of course, it means taking a risk. But you have to back yourself, not look for the easy option.
Sarah, Duchess of York, some amazing insights from someone who has achieved in a whole lot of different areas – often right in the spotlight, sometimes behind the scenes… It was a joy and a privilege to chat with her and learn from one of the best!
